Hellions on Pandora
by RitatheBeetle
Summary: Bug and Scraps are the niece and nephew of Grace, and they arrive on Pandora, causing hell for everyone, especially one Miles Quaritch. Will his sanity last?
1. Things Bug and Scraps are NOT allowed to

**Hellions on Pandora**

**So, this is just a silly story me (Bug) and my nephew (Scraps) came up with when we were watching Avatar for the millionth time. It's not to be taken too terribly seriously, just something we made up for a laugh, and because we enjoy the prospect of making Quaritch's life a living hell. We don't own Avatar (sadly) but we do own Bug and Scraps.**

Miles Quaritch began to bang his head against the wall. He thought Grace Augustine was a nightmare, now he had to deal with Bug and Scraps, her niece and nephew. The duo was extremely rowdy and constantly causing trouble for almost everyone. Their main target for abuse was Quaritch, and they had managed to cause him severe migraines without even being on Pandora for a month. Then, a light bulb went off in his head. He'd make a list of rules for the terrible twins, of all the things they could never do again. It would help not only the minorities of Pandora, but himself as well. He took out a pen and paper and began to write.

**Things Bug and Scraps are NOT allowed to do**

**We may write DORK on Quaritch's face while he is sleeping.**

**We may not hum Beethoven's fifth every time Quaritch enters a room.**

**We may not take Trudy's Samson out for a joy ride. EVER.**

**We may not write love letters to Parker saying they're from Aunt Grace.**

**Or Vice Versa.**

**The computers are not for playing virtual solitaire.**

**Or Angry Birds.**

**Quaritch's name is not Jorgen Von Strangle. He is not the ruler of Fairy World. We must stop insisting so.**

**We must stop referring to Aunt Grace and Parker's arguments as 'flirting'.**

**While Jake Sully is in his Na'vi body, we may not steal his. wheelchair and use a fire extinguisher to make it into a rocket.**

**The scientists must NEVER hear us say 'I wonder what this button does'.**

'**Do not touch the big machine' is NOT a challenge**

**We may not steal Quaritch's weapons and replace them with squirt guns**

**Stealing Parker's unontanium from his desk to watch him go nuts trying to find it is wrong. Funny, but wrong.**

**We may not use the Amplified Mobility Platforms to play Transformers.**

**The Avatar units are not green trampolines. We may not use them as such.**

**We may not follow Quaritch around and question everything he does in a Russian accent. **

**We must stop referring to Quaritch as the following: Ranger Rick, Miley, Quarbitch, or The Dark Lord.**

**We may not jump in front of the security cameras wearing scary clown masks.**

**We may not pressure Aunt Grace into teaching us Na'vi swear words.**

**Or Norm Spellman.**

**We may not trick newbies into thinking the units are tanning beds.**

**We may not ask Quaritch if he's willing to take up his offer of giving Jake Sully a 'big wet kiss'.**

**We may not attempt to give Quaritch matching scars on the other side of his head to 'even things out'.**

**Dressing up like Na'vi and shooting plastic arrows at the marines may be comical, but they have every right to chase us around Hell's Gate with big bazookas afterwards.**

**We may not tie-die any of the marine's clothes. **

**We may not ask Quaritch if he has a girlfriend by the name of Dolores Jane Umbridge.**

**We may not take native fruit and throw it at Quaritch's head.**

**Every time Quaritch makes a command, he does not need us to announce for him in a Dolores Umbridge manner 'He . . . will . . . have . . . . ORDER!"**

**We may not attempt to scare Quaritch while he is lifting weights. **

**We may try to not examine Quaritch's brain.**

**We may not kidnap Quaritch, take him into the middle of the forest, and inform the Na'vi that he is the enemy.**

**Failure to comply with this list will result in lockup for an indefinite time. **

Quaritch smiled a self satisfied smile and set off to give the list to the two hellions.

Quaritch felt his eye twitch as he glared at Bug and Scraps, who were smirking at him in triumph.

"I . . . honestly don't know how to respond to the likes of you two." He began, wringing his hands. "I make a simple list and you two promptly take a Samson out for a joy ride, which was FORBIDDEN!" He leaned in close to their innocent looking faces, "Care to comment?"

"Ricky," Scraps began as he cleared his throat, "You said we couldn't take Trudy's Samson out for a joy ride."

"You didn't say anything about any of the other Samson's." Bug finished for her brother. She pulled out the list to show him. "See?" Quaritch paused.

"Just don't do it AGAIN!" He finally choked out. The terrible twins shrugged.

"Okay we won't do it again." Scraps began.

"And we won't tie dye the marine's clothes either." Bug said. Quaritch nodded, but was confused at the sudden change of subject. They began to walk off, but Scraps turned and said,

"Because dying _your_ clothes is much easier." Quaritch felt his eyes grow large.

"Wait, WHAT?" He shouted. But Scraps had already hurried off.

**And here is our first chapter kiddies. We are willing to take any ideas, especially ones about tormenting Quaritch. We hate him with a bloody passion.**


	2. Things NOT to do to the Na'vi

**Chapter 2**

**Disclaimer: Me (Bug) and my nephew (Scraps) do not own Avatar. James Cameron does. This is merely made to satisfy our sick and twisted little minds. **

**Also, if anything we put sounds familiar to anything else one has seen, it's purely coincidental. We came up with this solely on our own.**

Quaritch woke up one morning feeling pretty good. The little brats had not given him trouble in days, and he felt he had finally gotten through to them. He got dressed in non tie dyed clothes, and set out to begin the day.

He was walking with his head held high, barely noticing the stares certain people were giving him. _Looks of respect,_ he thought with pride. He made his way to Parker Selfridge's office to give the Junior Administrator some of his latest ideas on disposing the blue savages. Parker always listened to him.

"Now Selfridge . . ." He began his pitch. Parker, however, was having a hard time listening, and simply gaped at the sight in front of him. As soon as Quaritch finished, Grace came storming in.

"Parker, I cannot believe you would-" but she didn't have a chance to finish as soon as she saw Quaritch. She tried biting her lip to keep from laughing, but a giggle soon escaped her lips. A chuckle from Parker immediately followed and soon, he and Grace were on the floor in hysterical laughter. Quaritch felt his face grow red. How dare they not take him seriously?

"And what, may I ask, is so funny?" He snarled. Grace and Parker tried to answer, but their laughs made it impossible. Tears were now rolling down their cheeks. "Well?" Quaritch snarled.

"Uh-Quaritch . . . your hair?" Parker finally managed to say before collapsing again.

"What about my hair?" Quaritch demanded, reaching up to his head as if to see if his hair was still intact. Grace, who was trying to catch her breath, reached into her pocket and pulled out a compact mirror, and pushed it across the floor. Quaritch picked it up, opened it, and just about had a heart attack at what he saw. The masculine, blond color of his hair was gone, and in its place . . .

"ELECTRIC BLUE?" Quaritch roared dropping the mirror to the floor with a loud 'smack', knowing exactly who was to blame, "WHERE ARE THOSE LITTLE DEMON'S? I'LL KILL EM! I'LL SLAUGHTER EM! I'LL-"

"What's with all the yelling Ricky?" A slightly amused voice said behind him. He whirled around to see two adolescent children smiling innocently at him. It was Bug and Scraps.

"You! You did THIS!" He hissed, pointing to his now tarnished hair.

"You can't prove that. . ." Scraps began, "But I think it's safe to say . . ."

"It IS an improvement." Bug finished for her brother, adjusting her big black glasses. Quaritch's eye began to twitch again.

"You are sick." He seethed. He turned to give a deathly glare to Grace and Parker, who were now trying hard to compose themselves.

"We're sick?" Bug began, "Ricky, we're not the ones with hair,"

"The color of a wannabe Na'vi." Scraps finished.

"THAT'S IT!" Quaritch snapped, throwing his hands up in the air. "I'm going to fix this-this EYESORE!" He looked directly at the four in the room. "None of you are to breathe a word of this to ANYONE! Understood?" They nodded, and Bug and Scraps were smirking. Quaritch stormed outside, too angry to notice Max, Trudy, Jake, and Norm taking pictures on their cameras and sending the pictures to the company server.

_!#%&$*!_

**We may not take nets and run around chasing woodsprite while screaming "JELLYFISHING".**

**We may not 'borrow' Eytukan's bow for any purpose.**

**We may not steal some poisoned arrows and use them to play darts.**

**We may not inform Neytiri of Earthling animal testing as it is just cruel.**

**We may not take Seze out for a joyride. **

**It is very mean to remind Tsu'tey that Neytiri likes Jake and not him. We may not do so again. **

**We may not fake a letter from Nabisco representatives and ask the Omaticaya if they can build a Keebler bakery inside Hometree.**

**We may not provoke any of the viperwolves. If we do and they chase us, it's our problem and we're on our own.**

**We may not pull Na'vi tails.**

**We may not pull Na'vi braids.**

**We may not film a mating ritual.**

**We may not connect our Na'vi braids to the Tree of Voices and exclaim: 'The voices! They're back'.**

'**What am I supposed to do, dance with it?" was a rhetorical statement made by Jake Sully regarding the hammerhead titanotheres. He does not need us to actually get some salsa music and help him dance with it.**

'**Because Eywa told us to' is not an appropriate excuse for any of our tricks**

**We may not attempt to torment Seze with a red cape to reenact a bull fight. **

**AND FOR EYWA'S SAKE, DO NOT MAKE QUARITCH'S HAIR ELECTRIC BLUE EVER AGAIN!**

_!#%&$*!_

"I GIVE YOU TWO A SIMPLE LIST AND WHAT DID YOU DO?" Quaritch screamed throwing his hands in the air. Jake was behind the terrible twins, glaring, and in the distance, a few of the Omaticaya could be seen trembling in fear.

"Posed as Nabisco representatives asking to build a Keebler bakery inside Hometree?" Bug offered, brushing a strand of her bright red hair away.

"Took a bunch of pictures of a mating ritual to turn it into a flip book?" Scraps said.

"YES!" Quaritch shrieked, his eyes twitching again. "Those were things you WEREN'T ALLOWED TO DO!"

"Ricky," Scraps began, pulling out his list and clearing his throat. "You said we couldn't write a fake letter regarding building a bakery in Hometree, but we went ourselves and asked."

"And you said we couldn't actually film a mating ritual," Bug cut in as she leaned over to look at the list, "And we took pictures to make a flip book. A _flip book_, Ricky!" Quaritch's hand made contact with his face, and a headache suddenly kicked in.

"Why?" He moaned, "Why must you torture me like this?" The twins shrugged.

"Because we don't like you." They responded in unison.

"What are you smirking at, Sully?" Quaritch suddenly snapped, looking in the direction of Jake, whose face was in a grin.

"Nothing, sir. It's just . . . weren't you going to use that stuff to change back your hair color?" Bug and Scraps looked at each other. Grace, after she had finally stopped laughing at Quaritch's electric blue hair, had forced the twins to find something to change the color back. So they came to Quaritch with a plastic bottle that was supposed to remove hair dye. What they had failed to mention, however, was that there was a sticker on the bottle beforehand that somehow managed to fall off, with words mentioning the color pink.

"I did use that stuff-Oh no." Quaritch said, fishing out Grace's mirror to see his hair was now the color of Pepto-Bismol.

A loud, blood curdling scream escaped Quaritch as he dropped the mirror once more, gave a death glare at the twins, and ran off. . . .

. . . . . Right in the middle Hell's Kitchen.

. . . . . . During Dinner Hour.

!#%&$*!

"That was AWESOME, Scraps!" Bug exclaimed while she tugged at the handcuffs that had been placed on her between the railing.

"You're the one who removed the sticker. You did great too." Scraps replied through the cell he was put into, banging on the clear wall. "By the way, any progress on getting out of those handcuffs?"

"Nope."

!#%&$*!

**And there it is. I know the list isn't as long, but the next one will be longer. Thanks to Zootsutstra, Random the Na'vi, and Gyre and Bigoldfrog for reviewing, and for the ideas. I know not all of them are on this chapter, but they will definitely be in the next one. Thanks again. Oh, and I have a poll on my profile asking which character should join in on Bug and Scraps's pranks later in the story. The choices are: Trudy, Jake, Norm, or Max. Vote and maybe that character will be our next partner in crime! I'll post the third chapter as soon as I can.**


	3. Bug and Scraps get revenge

**Chapter 3**

**Disclaimer: We do not own Avatar. (Sneaks off to cry in a corner) It belongs to James Cameron. Bug, Scraps, and this storyline in general are all ours.**

**And as we promised, some of the ideas will be used. I think we have enough for now, but we'll be sure to say when we need more. **

It started out as a peaceful evening on Pandora. Most of the workers were busy wrapping up for the day, with the exception of Grace and Parker, who were in the middle of another argument (which was mysteriously short of small voices saying they were flirting). There was nobody screaming or chasing anyone. There was no silly string to clean off the walls. Even Quaritch's hair was a normal color, after weeks of washing and rewashing. In short, there was nothing out of the ordinary.

Suddenly, Trudy came running in, her big boots clicking loudly with each step. She began panting, out of breath, and there was a slightly frightened look in her eyes.

"Guys . . . ." She began, but it was too late. For a split second, everything was completely silent. Everyone was turned in the direction Trudy came from, holding their breath as if waiting for something. Then, soft footsteps could be heard echoing, and Quaritch could've sworn he heard the theme from _Jaws_ playing softly somewhere in the room. Workers began to quiver with fear, and a few screamed and hid behind their desks.

"Viperwolves?" Jake asked softly. The footsteps and music grew louder, as two ominous silhouettes became visible.

"Angry savages, um Na'vi?" Parker whispered as he tried to hide behind Grace, who was not allowing it.

"Invader aliens from Uranus?" Norm offered meekly.

"Even worse!" Trudy hissed. The figures grew closer, and the music was louder still.

"Max! Turn that off!" Grace snapped.

"Sorry." Max mumbled. There was a click, and the music immediately stopped. The figures appeared in the doorway, wearing black sweatshirts with the hoods pulled up. Two scientists passed out right on the spot, and _The Imperial March_ from _Star Wars_ could be heard at an ear splitting volume.

"MAX!" Grace yelled.

"Okay, okay, jeez." Another click and the room went silent again. The figures slowly began to lower their hoods, and soon, their maniacal faces were revealed. Norm jumped behind Jake's wheelchair to hide, and Parker fainted to the floor with a girlish scream. It only meant one thing: Bug and Scraps had arrived.

"We're ba-ack" Bug said in a chillingly sweet singsong voice. Everyone gulped.

"He-hello." Jake offered, nervously. "W-where have you been?" He and Quaritch glanced nervously at Grace.

"Oh, you don't remember about the little 'errand' you sent us on?" Scraps asked with slight venom dripping in his voice. "The one where you sent us to find native fruit and then 'forgot' about us?" He used air quotes around the word 'forgot'.

"And letting some of the Omaticaya spot us and chase us? They obviously remembered last time." Bug snapped.

"It's your brand of humor." Max said under his breath.

"Is it, now?" Bug asked sweetly. Max immediately lost all courage and ran behind Jake's chair, kicking Norm out of the way. Grace narrowed her eyes at Quaritch.

"Is that where they've been all this time?" She demanded.

"Maybe." Quaritch mumbled.

"Getting to the point," Scraps cut in, "We're not taking this lying down. We're getting _revenge_."

"What are you going to do?" Trudy asked meekly, as she slowly inched away from the twins.

"Oh, we're not gonna get you now." Bug began as she began to walk slowly around the room. "That's certainly not how we work."

"It could be tomorrow. It could be next month, but we're gonna getchta." Scraps finished coolly. He and Bug began laughing like maniacs as they ran out of the room at top speed. Grace looked around the room at everyone.

"Well what are you waiting for?" She demanded. "Run!" Everyone obeyed, scattering in various directions. Quaritch was the first, pushing past everyone to the nearest exit.

_!#$%&*!_

"Ha, nice finale there, Scrappy!" Bug said to her brother with a high five once they reached their room. "We really gave them a mind-screw."

"Agreed." Scraps replied, pulling out a primitive iPad. "Now let's get back at them for ditching us in the forest." He finished savagely. Bug nodded eagerly, and she adjusted her glasses that made her look like a mad scientist, and they began their plans.

**Revenge Ideas **

**Steal Aunt Grace's cigarettes, put them in Quaritch's pocket, and videotape the reaction. Bonus points if she punches him in the face.**

**Dye all of Parker's clothes pink.**

**Spray paint Trudy's Samson Rotors gold to make them look like dub rims.**

**Sing annoyingly cheerful songs like "Hard Knock Life", "Singing in the Rain", and "Animal Crackers in my Soup", continually at the top of our lungs until everyone loses their mind. (Note: For best effect, sing extremely off key)**

**Constantly question Aunt Grace about alien creatures like "Chestbursters" or "Facehuggers". (Note: Referring to Hell's Gate as "The Nostromo" is also acceptable)**

**Fill Wainfleet's amp with shaving cream, spaghetti and meatballs, and/or chewing gum.**

**Fill the link beds with thumb tacks.**

**Make caricature puppets of Hell's Gate administrative staff and put on wildly inappropriate puppet shows. (Note: It's best to reenact movies such as Showgirls, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, or Blue Velvet with Aunt Grace and Quaritch as the leads)**

**Steal Aunt Grace's samples and drug Quaritch's coffee with them. Mostly because we want to see what happens.**

**Hack into Parker's computer and have it play "Banana Phone" For twelve hours. (Nate: "Peace Train" by Cat Stevens works too)**

**Two Words: Duct Tape.**

**Fill Parker's Exo-Mask with shaving cream and hit the OPS alarm for a false gas breach and laugh as he gets a creampie facial.**

**Put Mannequins in the Avatar units. (Note: Be creative when dressing them: George Washington, clowns, serial killers etc.)**

**Attach a giant clockwork piece to Quaritch's AMP suit. (Note: Fuzzy Dice works too)**

**Replace Trudy's pants with skirts.**

"**Decorate" The lab with silly string.**

**Dress up like famous movie serial killers and chase scientists all over the Operations Center.**

**Steal Parker's putter. **

**Replace Norm's book about the Na'vi with the Twilight books. Then force him to read it.**

**Release a viperwolf in the Operations Center.**

**Dye Quaritch's hair any color except electric blue.**

**Hold Jake hostage and demand the executives pay their weight in bubblegum and/or Skittles to get him back. (Note: For best effect, don't return him)**

**SEND THEM IN THE FOREST TO BE CHASED BY NA'VI AND SEE HOW THEY LIKE IT!**

_!#$%&*!_

Bug and Scraps, who were dressed like Jason and Pennysworth, smiled their maniacal smiles as they stared around the Operations center, which looked as though a Na'vi war took place. Bananaphone was blaring through the room at an earsplitting volume. Several scientists were on the floor cowering in fear while others were desperately trying to fix the problem with mannequins that looked like Ronald McDonald and Hannibal Lecter. Quaritch was rubbing his bruised cheek, as he tried desperately to dispose of his contaminated coffee. Norm was tearing through the place looking for his book as Max and Trudy chased a loose viperwolf. Parker was wiping shaving cream off his face inside his silly string and duct tape covered office. In the midst of all this, Jake was nowhere to be found, but the distinct sound of something ramming into the door behind Bug and Scraps could be heard. Next to the twins, a huge pile of various colored Skittles, and Grace tearing around the corner, stuffing a cigarette pack into her pocket.

"Ready Bug?" Scraps asked his sister. Bug nodded with excitement in her eyes.

"You have the Samson ready?" She asked Grace. Their aunt nodded, and soon the three of them were guiding a group of terrified people to it.

"You're not making me go too?" Grace asked.

"Of course not, Auntie." Scraps said. "You're out aunt and . . ."

"We need a driver." Bug finished. Grace groaned, and began to rev up the engine.

**Thanks to Zootsutra, Linnup, and Gyre, for their reviews and ideas. I think we have plenty for now to go with, but we'll be sure to ask if we need more. They sure were a scream to read. I'll update as soon as possible. And don't forget to vote on which character should join Bug and Scraps.**


	4. A prank gone wrong

**Chapter 4**

**A/N: Hello all. Yes, I am still alive. I am so sorry about the long wait, but things have been really crazy at home, I have not had time to write. Plus, I have been playing around with a couple other story ideas, and got really distracted. Thanks to all that have reviewed, favorited, and put this on story alert, that is awesome. Oh and Linnup, I loved the little Harry Potter story. I love the idea of tormenting Dolores Umbridge, I hate her almost as much as Quaritch. Me (Bug), and my nephew (Scraps) do not own Avatar. But we do own this story, and I do have give my nephew credit for this chapter, since it was an idea of his. There is no list in this chapter, since I could not find a way to put one in. But it is extra long. **

"I think I have the perfect idea for a prank!" Scraps declared one morning at breakfast. He and Bug were eating alone, because of the 300 feet rule everyone made. Bug grinned like a Cheshire cat.

"Oooh, what are we doing to Quaritch today?" She asked excitedly. Scraps shook his head, which pushed his black bangs out of his eyes.

"We're not getting Quaritch. Not today anyway." He leaned in closer. "I'm talking about Parker and Aunt Grace." Bug's eyes widened, and with her glasses, it really made her look like a demented insect.

"I'm listening." She said. Scraps got a deranged smile on his face, and he told Bug his plan.

_!#$%&*!_

"Did you bring the handcuffs like I asked you?" Scraps asked as his sister came scampering next to him three hours later.

"Mmhmm." Bug replied, patting her jacket pocket. She glanced around the Operations Center, in the direction of her aunt, who was busy looking over her reports, and then in the direction of Parker's office. Parker was slumped over his desk, fast asleep. Perfect.

"Okay, on my mark." Scraps whispered. "Get set . . . now!"

"Aunt Grace! Aunt Grace!" Bug and Scraps said in unison, rushing over to Grace. "You gotta see this. You gotta see this!" They began tugging Grace's wrists, dragging her in the direction of Parker's office.

"Guys, what is it? I'm a little busy." Grace protested.

"Trust us, Aunt Grace." Bug said, "It's Parker, and it's really important!" The next thing Grace knew, she was standing in front of Parker's sleeping form.

"So? Parker's sleeping. He's been doing that a lot lately, ever since he's felt the need to have one eye open at night." She gave an irritated look at the twins.

"Just keep looking, you'll see it." Scraps insisted. Grace sighed in annoyance, but she did as she was told. She put her hands behind her back, not noticing the twins sharing a grin, or Bug reaching into her pocket. The next sound Grace heard was a 'click', and ice cold metal pierced her wrist.

"Wha-Guys, what the hell?" She demanded. Bug and Scraps didn't listen, and instead took the other end of the handcuffs and connected it with one of Parker's limp wrists. Grace's face turned a shade that matched the color of her hair, and began tugging wildly, as if hoping her wrist would slip out.

"I swear to Ewya, you two if I am going-"

"Wha-?" Parker moaned as he slowly woke up, his vision started out blurry, but when it became clear, the first thing he saw was a red haired woman frantically tugging his wrist, and the shiny handcuffs that were attached. "OH MY GOD!" He began yanking his hand back.

"Ow! Don't tug so hard, it hurts, OW!" Grace snapped, as she tried yanking in her direction.

"Well, ow, your tugging hurts too, _Grace._ How the hell did this happen?"

He then noticed the terrible twins were laughing hysterically in a corner. "I should have guessed." Parker growled.

"Okay guys, this is cute. NOW GET US OUT OF THIS!" Grace screamed, near hysterics. The twins shared a glance. They weren't ones to back down from an act of mischief, but at the same time, they couldn't ignore their favorite aunt. Bug sighed, and reached into her pocket for the key, only to find it wasn't there. Instead, she found a hole. Granted, it was a small hole, but it was big enough for a key to slip out of. She gulped.

"Uh, Bug?" Scraps whispered, "Where is it? Where's the key?"

"I . . . don't . . . . know!" Bug hissed back as she frantically checked all her other pockets, with no avail. She slowly turned to the two extremely angry adults, who were still tugging desperately in opposite directions.

"Well?" Parker demanded. The twins grinned nervously.

"Ah well, this . . . is a funny story. See . . . ." Scraps began, as beads of sweat formed on his head.

"We, uh, sorta can't find . . . the key." Bug finished softly. Outside, various workers jumped at Grace's shriek,

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T FIND THE KEY?" The twins were now backed against the wall, and the door flew open. It was Quaritch.

"What's with all this yelling?" He demanded. Parker and Grace held up their cuffed hands, furious looks on both their faces.

"It's _their d_oing, sir." Parker said, pointing to Bug and Scraps.

"Of course." Quaritch responded as he began to bite his lower lip. "Well, you two laughed at me when they dyed my hair, now it's my turn to laugh at you." He immediately began laughing and after it was all out of his system, he turned to the twins.

"Now, what to do with you?" He had a malicious grin spread on his face.

"Plan B, what's plan B?" Bug hissed to her brother.

"Run, definitely RUN!" Scraps answered and without hesitation, they bolted out the door at top speed.

_!#$%&*!_

"Hey, Trudy?" Norm asked nervously as he approached Trudy in the Samson garage, "Can I hang out in here with you for a little bit? It's really crazy everywhere else right now." Trudy raised her eyebrow, but nodded.

"Sure. Um, just what exactly is going on up there? I keep hearing what sounds like a cat yowling."

"Cat? Oh, that's Grace. See, Bug and Scraps just did something completely insane."

"Insane for Bug and Scraps, or insane for ordinary people?"

"I think this is crazy even for them. They handcuffed Parker and Grace together, and apparently they can't find the key. Now the place is a mad house."

"Holy crap." She noticed the black and blue mark forming on Norm's cheek. "And how'd THAT happen?" Norm looked down at the floor.

"Uh, Bug and Scraps sorta knocked me into a link unit as they ran for their lives."

"Of course they did."

_!#$%&*!_

"How long was that freaking hole in your pocket?" Scraps demanded of his sister, as he began to barricade the door of their room.

"I don't know! That's the problem. It could be anywhere."

"Well we need to find it soon, or Aunt Grace and Parker are gonna kill us!"

"Yeah, no shit, Sherlock. Now get over here at help me. Hopefully the key is somewhere in the room."

"Why should I help you? _You're_ the one that lost it." Bug put her hands on her hips.

"Need I remind you that this whole thing was _your_ idea, genius? Now help me, or I will throw you out there as live bait." Scraps didn't protest, knowing Bug's threat was dead serious. They began searching the premises which strongly resembled a mad scientist's lab. No luck.

"We're screwed." Bug moaned, "Their going to have our butts mounted over the wall."

"Maybe not," Scraps said, "We just need to think. Where could it possibly be?" There was a long pause.

"I've got it!" Bug finally exclaimed, "The bathroom! I stopped there directly before I came to you. I thought I heard something clink on the ground. I didn't think about it at the time, but it was probably the key! Our butts are saved!"

"Just one problem. How are we going to get out of here to said bathroom with them," Scraps jerked his thumb at the door, "Literally man hunting us?"

"Well, we'd better get thinking haven't we, Scrappy old pal?"

_!#$%&*!_

While Bug and Scraps were busy trying to sneak to the bathroom to find the key, Grace and Parker were busy hunting them down and trying to escape their handcuffs at the same time.

"Will you try not to pull so hard, Grace?" Parker snapped.

"Oh, poor, poor thing, am I hurting your wittle wrist?" Grace said in a mock baby voice.

"_Yes _and will you cut it out with the sarcasm? This sucks just as much for me as it does for you. Maybe more."

"Really? Gee, I didn't know. You've only mentioned it forty times!"

"Will you two shut up already? In case you haven't noticed, it's not helping!" Quaritch snapped as he rubbed his head. Parker and Grace gave the Colonel a deathly glare that made even him shrink back.

"No, no Quaritch, let 'em keep arguing. It's entertaining." Jake protested.

"You stay out of this, Sully!" Quaritch, Parker, and Grace snapped. Parker turned to look at Grace.

"Where are those little demons?" Grace shook her head.

"I dunno, probably their room, but by the time we get there they could be gone. Doubt they'd get very far."

"Well that's very helpful, _Gracie_."

"Do NOT call me Gracie, Parker, and I'm just telling the truth. I am after all their Aunt."

"That's sure a swell thing to admit to right now, isn't it?"

"Will you shut up, you pompous greedy-"

They began their arguing again, and Quaritch groaned and began banging his head against the wall as Jake grinned in delight.

_!#$%&*!_

Back in their room, Bug and Scraps were as armed as they could be, Bug holding a tennis racket, Scraps a can of silly string. Over their clothes, they were wearing shields made out of pillows and shiny duct tape, and on their heads they wore old bike helmets.

"Ready Bugs?" Scraps whispered.

"Ready Scrappy." Bug whispered back. "Here goes nothing." She slowly began turning the brass knob, and jumped as the door slowly opened. She looked down the hallway in all directions to check for any ambushes. She motioned to Scraps the coast was clear, and they began tiptoeing through the hall. On most occasions like this, Scraps would hum the tune to _Mission Impossible _or _The Pink Panther_, but today he was silent, as this was a matter of whether or not their butts would remained attached to their body another day. So far, no sign of an ambush from anybody. The only problem was their shoes, which caused the floor to creak, and in the empty hallway, it created an echo.

"This is a problem." Scraps muttered. Bug didn't answer, and instead leaned over to untie her fluorescent green high tops and throw them over her shoulder.

"What, in the name of Ewya are you doing?" Scraps hissed.

"Taking off my shoes, dummy. Come on, take yours off too. We'll make less noise that way." Scraps nodded, and removed his blue sneakers. Unlike, Bug, he didn't carry his shoes. Instead, he set them on the ground, and the two went on.

They reached the bathrooms, and Bug made her way to the door with the sign for girls.

"Woah, woah, woah. This is the _girl's_ bathroom." Scraps protested.

"Well where'd you think it was going to be? Now, _come on_." Scraps didn't move. "You're not gonna catch cooties, or anything Scrappy. Chances are, it's nicer than your facilities." She grabbed Scraps by the wrists, and dragged him along.

_!#$%&*!_

Parker and Grace made their way down the same hall Bug and Scraps had walked through just before, only they went in the opposite direction.

"Which one is Scraps and Bug's?" Parker asked. Grace pointed with her free hand at a door at the end of the hall with a 'Keep Out' sign plastered on it. They managed to get to the door without a struggle, and Grace slowly turned the knob.

Pushing the door open, she leaned in and pulled Parker with her.

"They're not here." She said closing the door. "Damn." They leaned against the wall, slightly banging their heads against it. Parker examined his surroundings, and noticed something he hadn't seen before.

"Grace? What is that?" Grace opened her eyes.

"Looks like . . . shoes." She went over to investigate, yanking Parker along with her. Sure enough, she saw a pair of bright blue sneakers, and knew exactly who they belonged to. "So they have been here." The only question was: where did they go from here?

_!#$%&*!_

"Wow, you girls have it nice!" Scraps exclaimed as he walked around the appropriately pink bathroom. "At least nicer than us boys." Bug rolled her eyes

"Gee, thanks. Now, you look over by the sinks, I'll look in the stalls." They began their search, thoroughly examining everything.

"Wow, fancy soaps? You girls are SO lucky. They smell soo good."

"Scraps! Focus!"

"Sorry." Just as hope was almost lost, Bug suddenly exclaimed from one of the stalls,

"Found it! Found it!" In her hands, she held a key, small, silver, shiny, their savior.

"Really?" Scraps came tearing in. "I'll take it." But Bug yanked it away, clutching it protectively to her chest.

"No! I found it, I should take it!" Scraps put his hands on his hips.

"You'll probably just lose it again, like you did last time!"

"No I won't!"

"Yes you will! Give it to me!"`

"No!"

"Yes!" They began to wrestle, fighting for the little key, and as if things could not get worse, it somehow got knocked out of their hands and began to fly in the direction of the toilet. Time seemed to slow down as the twins dove to catch it with no avail. The key fell smack into the toilet, and slid out of site. Bug turned to Scraps, looking very calm.

"Well Scraps, it's official." Her face darkened with fear, "WE'RE SCREWED!" She leaped in the direction of the pipes, trying to loosen them, but her thin arms weren't strong enough.

"Scraps, help me out." But not even Scraps had strong enough arms.

"Shit, Bug, why couldn't someone have given me muscles."

"They wouldn't do any good. You need a wrench to open those pipes." A voice from behind them said.

"Really thanks . . ." They turned around and let out a simultaneous scream at the sight in front of them.

"Aunt Grace, Parker." Bug began nervously. Parker and Grace had frighteningly calm expressions on their faces, and the twins grinned nervously.

"He-Hello," Scraps said, "How are you today? We're fine. We were just talking. We were talking about our kind, wonderful, _forgiving_ aunt, who knows we didn't mean to lose the key in the toilet," His words grew faster and faster, "Please don't cut off our butts and mount them over the wall." The two adults didn't answer, but merely looked at each other. Bug and Scraps closed their eyes, awaiting the punishment they were about to receive.

_!#$%&*!_

Later that evening, Parker and Grace were in the middle of a mini-golf tournament, not attempting to kill each other, completely handcuff free. Surprisingly, they appeared to be having a good time.

"Hey guys." Norm said, as he appeared around the corner, a bandage around his bruised nose. "I see you got out of the handcuffs." Grace nodded.

"Yeah. It took a good chunk of time. We had to tear apart the pipe system and everything."

"Wow. That must've sucked." Grace paused.

"You know, it wasn't that bad. We actually got along pretty well when our hands were bound together with metal."

"You know Grace," Parker said. "You're not as big a bitch as I thought you were."

"Thanks Parker. You're not as big of a pain in the ass as I thought you were." It may not seem like much, but in the world of Parker and Grace, these were considered compliments.

"See? Our prank brought benefit?" Bug called from her corner.

"Isn't that sweet?" Scraps added. Grace whirled around.

"Did I SAY you could turn around?" She demanded. The twins immediately went silent and turned back to their corners.

**Yet another A/N: Okay, so I don't know when the next update for this story will be. Partly, because I want to focus on my other to stories, and maybe work on a new one, and partly because I haven't had a chance to discuss any new ideas with my nephew, and it wouldn't feel right to write anything without him. The next update will probably be sometime next week at **_**earliest**_**. Also, the current results of the poll are: a tie between Jake and Trudy. If you are opposed to this, vote, because I have no problem with it. It'll probably be up til the next update, then I'll go with whatever it says. **


	5. Afternoon Coffee

***Ducks behind a corner to and peeks out slowly***

**Yes, I know, I am a horrible person! I promised to update in a week and it's been about five months! I am so sorry, really I am. School got in the way, I haven't had many chances to converse with my nephew, and I actually had a good chunk of the chapter written until my computer decided to flake out on me and I lost the changes. I am truly sorry. If it means anything, I was up until two in the morning writing this for y'all. I decided to take Linnup and Gyre's suggestion of Bug and Scraps taking a break from Hell's Gate and terrorizing the Na'vi. Thanks to all who have reviewed, I hope you like it! :D**

**Disclaimer: I dun own Avatar. If I did, Grace would be alive and possibly with Parker, and Quaritch would be in a mental institution somewhere.**

**I also dun own:**

**Star Wars**

**Lord of the Rings**

**Harry Potter**

**Twilight**

**Napoleon Dynamite**

**Merlin**

**Alice in Wonderland**

**We only own Bug and Scraps. We simply must take responsibility for the little darlings**

"YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME WITH THEM!" Jake screamed in a Greek tragedy-like wail as he desperately clung onto Grace's arm. Because he was in his wheelchair, it was easy for Grace to move even with Jake latched onto her.

"Sully-" Grace tried to say.

"THEY WILL KILL ME!"

"Sully-"

"THEY'LL DO TRAUMATIZING THINGS TO ME!"

"Sully-"

"THEY'LL FORCE ME INTO THERAPY AGAIN!"

"Sully!" Grace yelled, prying Jake's arm off. "Quit overreacting. Quaritch needed Bug and Scraps out of the way today, so you have to take them to the forest with you."

"Why me?"

"Because nobody else would take them." Grace told him flatly, "And I have to finish that lab report today."

"BUT THEY MIGHT TRY AND FEED ME TO A VIPERWOLF!"

"Sully, there are a lot of things they could do to you. Now behave and please . . . try not to kill them." She walked away as Jake looked at his link unit with dread. He heard someone clearing their throat and turned to see Bug and Scraps, blank stares drawn across their seemingly innocent faces.

"Okay guys, I'm gonna be watching you today so I don't want any-" But he didn't have a chance to finish before the terrible twins were off in opposite directions screaming "BOTHERBOTHERBOTHERBOTHER!" Jake let out a frustrated scream as he began moving the wheels of his chair as he hurled profane insults at the two of them.

**!#$%^&*!**

About an hour later, Jake, Bug, and Scraps were in their Avatar forms walking through the forest, Jake dragging the twins by a leash.

"Come on, Jake, let us out!" Bug whined as she literally gnawed at the leash.

"Yeah, Jake, pleeeeeease?" Scraps offered in his best whiny five year old voice. Jake did stop, and he whirled around and pulled the leash into a mild choke hold.

"You two!" He practically snarled, "You listen to me. There will be _no funny business _while we are here! Got it?"

"Define funny." Scraps said, struggling against Jake's grasp. Jake's glare grew even fiercer.

"You want to know funny? I'll tell you funny." And with that, he pulled a list out of the messenger bag slung over his shoulder, and began to read aloud in a raised voice.

**There will be no holding a sturmbeest rodeo**

**You may not use any of the taller narrower animals as croquet mallets**

**You may not use the smaller animals as croquet balls**

**You may not attempt to feed donuts to the Omaticaya to see what will happen**

**You may not ask Neytiri, Mo'at, Tsu'tey, Eytukan, or any other Omaticaya "What it's got hidden in its pocketess"**

**You may not imitate Gollum PERIOD**

**That goes for Darth Vader as well**

**And Queen Mab too**

**You may not attempt to feed the Na'vi any blue jelly. EVER. AGAIN.**

**You may not tell the Na'vi stories about Nargles, Heliopaths, or any other creature Luna Lovegood believes in**

**You may not hide behind tall trees and say 'hello' in a creepy voice to scare the heck out of whoever walks by**

**You may not bungee jump off of any tall tree**

**You may not try to start a flash mob**

**You may not teach anyone how to dance the Time Warp**

**Under no circumstances, is it okay to randomly shout "OFF WITH EVERYONE'S HEADS"**

**You may not poke me with sticks**

**I don't care if you see Lord Voldemort, Gandalf, Han Solo, Quaritch's evil twin, or anyone else; DO NOT BOTHER ME WHEN I'M WITH NEYTIRI! **

**You may not throw Na'vi fruit at me**

**You may not convince Tsu'tey to throw Na'vi fruit at me**

**You may not pay anyone to throw Na'vi fruit at me**

**You may not read 'Twilight' out loud to the Na'vi**

**You may not speak only Pig Latin and claim it is your native language**

**You may not make a piñata shaped like Quaritch and have the Na'vi hit it with giant sticks**

**This list is not a challenge**

"Are we clear?" Jake demanded, putting the list away.

"I like Quaritch's lists better!" Bug said, struggling as hard as she could.

"Am . . . .beginning . . . . to . . . . .HYPERVENALATE!" Scraps cried out, his hands flailing madly.

"Fine! Go take a breather. Just remember what I said, or I WILL come after you!" Jake snapped, releasing them from their leash.

"We promise Jake, no need to worry." Bug said with a Cheshire cat grin. Jake allowed them to scamper off while he set off to find Neytiri. He knew Grace would kill him if she knew he let them go off on their own. But at that moment, he didn't care, and just wanted to see Neytiri. Besides, he thought to himself, what was the worst that could possibly happen? Of course, as always, he underestimated the terror that was Bug and Scraps.

**!#$%^&*!**

Mo'at was having a very peaceful day in Pandora. Her daughter, Neytiri, had been significantly happier, her mate hadn't been tearing things apart looking for his stolen bow, and Tsu'tey had been significantly less paranoid. All in all, she felt Eywa had finally given them some peace. Of course, she mentally spoke to herself too soon. She heard a rustling in the distance, and soon Tsu'tey became visible, holding a struggling adolescent Na'vi in each hand; a boy with tangled hair and a girl with giant glass circles in front of her eyes. No. Not them.

"Tsu'tey," She said in a calm voice, "What are you doing with these sky people?" Tsu'tey gave his usual glower.

"I caught these two hiding in a tree. They were going to shoot at me with what they called 'Nerf Guns'.

"Yeah," The girl interjected, "And we'd really like those back please."

"Quiet!" Mo'at snapped at them. She inspected the two head to toe. "Bug and Scraps, the ones related to DoctorGrace." She said coldly. "I believe you are in violation of several rules?"

"Actually, shooting Tsu'tey with our Nerf Guns wasn't something Jake said we couldn't do." Scraps pointed out.

"You are with Jakesully?" Mo'at asked.

"Yep." Bug said. "But he's with Neytiri now, so we can't 'bother' him in any way." She used air quotes around the word 'bother'. She suddenly turned to Tsu'tey and pulled something out of her bag. "Coffee?" Tsu'tey hesitated, looking incredibly wary.

"What . . . is . . . this coffee?" He asked. Bug and Scraps looked at one another and grinned.

"Oh it's this _delicious_ hot drink that comes from a special plant." Scraps told him in an overly happy voice. It technically wasn't a lie.

"It isn't . . . poisoned, is it?" Tsu'tey asked, still not completely convinced.

"Of_ course _not!" The terrible twins said together, looking very offended. "We would never try to poison _you_ Tsu'tey!" Bug placed the coffee cup close to Tsu'tey's face, and he softened ever so slightly. He took the cup and took a sip and his face lit up.

"Oh my Eywa, that's good!" He exclaimed, taking a big gulp and another.

"May I have a sip?" Mo'at asked. Tsu'tey yanked the cup away.

"No! Go find your own!" He snapped. He was so absorbed in the coffee, that he didn't notice Bug mouth to Scraps 'double espresso' and Scraps laugh silently.

**!#$%^&*!**

Jake and Neytiri were enjoying a nice afternoon together; a quiet and peaceful afternoon that only had the sounds of the animals and their heavy breathing. That is, until a long stick with a soft dart on the end of it came hurling at them. Neytiri screamed and Jake swore under his breath.

"I'm going to kill them." He growled standing up. He grabbed the dart and began searching from the direction in which it came. He eventually came to the location, where he found the little hellions with Eytukan's bow and arrows, Mo'at chasing them trying to get it back, and Tsu'tey doing a funny little dance.

"What is going on here?" Neytiri demanded before Jake could. Mo'at answered,

"The little sky people got hold of Eytukan's bow again, and gave Tsu'tey something called coffee." She went back to chasing the twins and Jake hid his face in his hands. Bug momentarily stopped running and looked at him.

"You know if they didn't take our Nerf guns, we would use THAT to entertain ourselves."

"You tried to kill us with those things. Of course you aren't getting them back!" Mo'at shouted.

"'Theyjustwantthemback sotyoujustgiveittothem whydon'tyoujustgiveittothem?" Tsu'tey demanded in a rushed slur as he hopped frantically on one leg.

"Tsu'tey, how many cups did you drink?" Jake asked.

"Idunnoalittle maybealot alrightsevencups Idranksevencupsisthataproblem?" Tsu'tey said again in a rushed slur. He was now jiggling around, his arms waving left and right.

"Stop doing that!" Neytiri barked.

"Ican't." He shook his head rapidly.

"Oh, man, oh man, oh man, you guys, do you have any idea what you've done?" Jake demanded.

"Of course." They said, hiding the video camera behind their backs. Jake's face darkened.

"Wait . . . you didn't post this on the company server, did you?" Bug and Scraps looked at one another.

"Um . . . . Maybe?" Scraps said quietly. They made a break for the tree as Jake shouted "I am going to kill you!" and Tsu'tey kept muttering, "WhatsgoinonNeytiriwhatsgoinon?"

**!#$%^&*!**

Three hours and several dodgy Nerf gun fights later, Jake, Bug, and Scraps found themselves unconscious and back at Hell's Gate. When they opened their eyes, and stepped out of their units, the first thing Bug and Scraps did was run to their aunt and hide behind her as Jake tried to get into his wheelchair and chase after them. Grace's face appeared a bit surprised.

"Guys, what are you-oh, hi Sully. How'd it go?" Jake scowled and cocked his head in mock thought.

"Well, let's see . . . I'll put it to you like this. If you forever want the mental image of Tsu'tey when he's had WAY too much caffeine, why don't you go watch a little film on the server with your buddies Selfridge and Quaritch." He nodded his head at the two men, who were hovering over the company server laughing like maniacs.

"Oh, god." Grace groaned as she began rubbing her temples. The twins merely sniggered.

"Told you they'd do traumatizing things to me." Jake muttered.

**So . . . . there you have it, for now. I cannot say for sure when our next update will be. I can promise it will be a much shorter wait than last time. I will give the results of our poll, and the one joining the demented club of Bug and Scraps is . . . . TRUDY! So in the next chapter, be prepared for Trudy to join Bug and Scraps.**

**And I will give you a small Christmas/Hanukah/Kwanza/Unbirthday gift. Below are links to pictures of what we think Bug and Scraps look like. Sorry about the spaces in the links, but I had to do it to put them in. If they don't work here, I'll also have them on my profile. Happy Holidays!**

_**Bug: http: / www3. images. coolspotters. com/ wallpapers/ 119465/ cat- valentine- mobile- wallpaper. jpg**_** (Just picture her with big glasses)**

_**Scraps: http: / images. wikia. com /harrypotter /images /c /c2/ HarrywithNimbus. jpg**___**(Just picture him without glasses)**


End file.
